I don’t even know where to begin with this show anymore.
With every week that goes by I feel Arie growing tired of pretending to feign interest in any of the remaining four ladies.
Can we all agree that he just does not give a sh-t anymore?
It’s kind of a big massive joke but whatever let’s dive in to this week’s ladies and dates.
We are in hometowns so why waste any time and instead let’s just take Arie and Kendall into a creepy abandon warehouse full of taxidermy.
I DON’T GET IT. I am not judgemental but holy cannoli this girl seriously have a unique hobby.
And Arie gets to join in the fun too! This might be the moment when we realize just how much of a team player Arie is willing to be.
They stuff some pet rats in bride and groom costumes and then head home to meet the fam. TYPICAL day for Kendall.
Over the evening we learn Kendall isn’t ready to get engaged and her dad isn’t comfy giving his blessing unless she is sure.
I don’t have any other major takeaways on this hometown except that it’s getting a bit ridiculous that we are still pretending like we have any interest in Kendall here and it is even less evident once you see how Arie interacts with the other girls.
Cutting now to Tia’s date – she takes Arie Car Racing in Weiner!
After this Arie-centric car race, it’s home to meet Tia’s family and oh my goodness there are Pigs in a Blanket on the table.
Literally weiners in Weiner. This is too cute and so country and I find myself really enjoying this hometown.
Arie is out of his element and Tia’s brother grills him with questions about his playboy past.
He makes it through and Tia tells Arie she is in love with him and while he can’t say it back, he’s falling for her too.
TOTAL SIDENOTE: How many times can we say we are falling for each other?
I said last night that we should’ve made a drinking game around how many times it was said that one of the ladies was falling for Arie and vice versa.
The only girl he said he was falling in love with (not just falling) was Lauren B., so whether that was a slip up or a tell, we have to wait a few more weeks to find out.
Ok, next of the docket is Becca and she takes Arie apple picking!
I think I’m a fangirl of Becca’s because she comes off so genuine and her story is really heart-wrenching.
When you meet her family you get to understand more of their unity and warmth in the face of her dad’s passing.
It makes them all extremely likeable and down to earth, I almost don’t want Arie to pick her because when it ultimately goes south I genuinely don’t want to see them in any pain!
Ok now that the Becca’s Family Lovefest is over, let’s get to the nitty gritty!
Lauren B’s Family is SO SCARY.
Seriously, it is evident that she got her lack of communication from her family as it is awkward AF and nobody speaks.
Lauren and Arie are instantly put on a panel interview styles as they’re seated across from the rest of the family just adding to the discomfort of the entire situation.
At first Lauren’s dad is not interested because Arie does not golf. BLASPHEMY!
The one saving’s grace Arie has is that he traveled to Iraq to meet with the troops and after he discloses that to Lauren’s dad, all is forgiven and we are finally on board.
DOESN’T TAKE MUCH I GUESS?
I have no idea, but we did get an incredible clip of Arie’ sweating profusely while at Lauren’s house and that truly made the entire episode worth it for me.
Finally at the Rose Ceremony, Arie takes Kendall aside and wants assurance that she wants to be here and isn’t ready to be done with Arie.
She assures him which ultimately locks in her receiving the final rose after Becca and Lauren B., and we have Tia sent home teary and surprisingly sweet.
I’m mind blown with how not OK she is because at this point I’d be Oprah screaming out to pack my bags for Paradise and get that blue check mark on Instagram.
I am positive it is for the cameras but seriously the real victory in the Bachelor franchise is to not win and then let the real Bachelor magic happen.
So that’s this week’s episode. Now we’re on the overnight dates and meeting Arie’s family.
I am still so confused with who he actually feels a connection with – the only one I’m seeing is Lauren B. but if there’s anything I can read from Arie is that he’s basically willing to go in whatever direction producers point him in.
Guess we’ll just have to wait to find out!
Until next week Bachelor Nation, x.