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The Bachelor – Arie Episode 3 Recap

OK guys, I have so much to say about this week’s episode, BUT can we talk about the PUPPIES DATE?

I don’t care what happened and hardly paid attention to any of the ladies’ interactions with Arie, because all I saw on screen was PUPPIES.

Phew, anyway – let’s jump in to today’s post by saying that I have realized what makes this season so “compelling” (loose term OK guys).

What makes it so compelling is that Arie is VERY GOOD AT DATES. He is a seasoned freaking vet.

It’s actually nuts watching him interact with the ladies individually. He needs to cut the real estate and write a dating book for frat bros.

He would make bank.

I wrote this as the show was happening because I just couldn’t contain myself, so I apologize if it comes off as a rolling trail of thoughts but it’s my blog and my recap and I am editor, so HA.

Group Date 1

I am cringing at this first wrestling date. This is the first time I have ever felt bad for Chris Harrison. First. Time. Ever. Yikes.

IDK why ABC is essentially promoting a Netflix Original Series (GLOW) but any excuse to get these girls in a ring to beat each other down then I guess why not?

My first thought when Chris introduced Arie was, “WHY IS ARIE IN A SUIT? IN A WRESTLING RING? THIS MAKES NO SENSE!”

I hated this date.

The women wrestlers from the original GLOW were so mean and I know they were in character but seriously it was painful.

Bibiana and Tia were not feeling it – rightfully so – but they pressed on obviously and everything was fine.

I honestly think they could’ve done without that quasi-racist comment about Bibiana’s name but in true Bachelor form, they’re running with it regardless.

What I cared the most about was Kenny! Thankfully they got something right with this date and gave sweet, needy Kenny some camera time.

Of course Arie was always going to win because the wrestling is staged and he is the current Bachelor, but f*ck it was fun to watch him get beat up even for a few shots.

After the date they head to a trailer park where Arie wastes no time making out with each girl during their 1:1 time.

And total sidenote: Have you ever watched the SNL skit where the girls are like, “Mmm I like that.” Arie makes that mmmsound CONSTANTLY!

Pay attention next time, a part of his kiss has that damn sound and now I can’t unhear it. Ugh I really cannot stand him even though I am admittedly loving this season.

Here are my thoughts on some of the frontrunners (aka the ladies who get the most camera time):

It’s week 3 but Arie and Bekah are essentially ready for the Fantasy Suite. This is actually kind of messed up considering he still has a lot of women in the house.

Their passion and intensity is getting really strong, really fast and ultimately I am thinking the age gap conversation is going to make it all explode.

And now I want to talk about Krystal.

The more Krystal gets camera time, the more the producers are making her look I N S A N E.

Based on what they’ve shown of her, its evident that she believes that her connection with Arie is unique and that she is the only one who has caught feelings for him and vice versa.

Babe, I hate to break it to you: but that is not the case. This is another situation that is going to blow up and it is becoming apparent that it’s the ladies against Krystal in the house and we all know how these scenarios work out on the show (either bad for Krystal or the girl who tries to go toe-to-toe with her).

Look it’s clear that Arie is in to Krystal but it’s also pretty clear that he is telling each girl whatever the f*ck they want to hear.

Lauren S. One on One Date

Ok I’m going to come out and say it. Arie made a huge mistake here. Lauren S. is a catch. She comes from a close family, is educated and honestly she has really good blonde hair. Blonde hair is tricky to maintain but her ends are fab and any girl that wears sneakers with a cute sundress is on my team.

What did Arie think of her? “She’s MATURE” – this is code for old in Arie’s world even though she’s six year younger than him and is entirely age appropriate.

Where she went wrong was at dinner.OH MY GOSH gf stop talking. Take a breath and r e l a x.

In all my years of watching the show, I’ve never actually seen a single person ever eat but with no time to say anything, Arie decides to go to town on his steak.

I was shocked when he let her go, but am also not surprised considering he is playing by the Leo DiCaprio Guide to Girls and anyone 30+ is likely way too mature for him.

Group Date 2

Now the doggy date is something I can really get behind. To be honest with you guys, I didn’t really watch this with 100% of my attention on the date since I saw the puppies, then missed my puppy, went to go get him and got preoccupied petting him like a psycho.

One thing I did want to address was Annaliese dramatization. What the heck is happening with this show? They don’t even have to try to produce quality television because we will all still watch it, no matter what happens.

Chelsea ended up getting the date rose and all I could think about was smooth-operator Arie rubbing her shoulder while she was talking to him during their 1:1 time.

This dude has moves that I highly doubt he even notices anymore.

He needs to tone it down because we are still very early on and the more he leads on these women, the more obvious it’s going to become that he’s just like every bro at the bar.

Final Random Thoughts

  • Arie calls Bekah M. risky – yes she is risky BECAUSE SHE IS 12!!!
  • If I were Annaliese I’d feel rejected is Arie didn’t kiss me too – he freaking makes out with everybody so like if he didn’t with me, then what does that say?
  • Tia is delighted by a could hay bales and moonshine? What is with these small town girls needing nothing to please them? That made me sad.
  • Was it Jenna who was straddling him in the white dress? He made with HER (sorry Annaliese) despite the fact that she was noticeably intoxicated and slurring her words.

Pretty much sums up who our Bachelor is this season. And for that, I am grateful.

What a delightfully awful mess this season continues to be and even though my girl Bibiana had to go at the Rose Ceremony, I just got word that she will be back for Bachelor Winter Games and I’m hoping she extends this into Paradise as well!

What were your thoughts on this week’s ep?

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