laters to the haters

Ok I’ve been asked to talk about this subject for a really long time.

You might know it from what I mentioned on Instagram but to be clear I’m referring to the haters.

The haters a.k.a. internet trolls, egg avators, or IRL mean girls.

I have honestly chosen to avoid this topic in my lifelong attempt to remain positive, neutral and upbeat.

Plus I genuinely tend to shy away from any negativity on the blog unless it’s personal.

Until now.

And no there isn’t one incident that peaked my interest to finally discuss this and while there is a personal element to everything I share, this one is a manifestation of conversations, both had and overheard and I’m finally ready to address it.

But instead of focusing on what was said, who said it or pondering why – I’m going to give my best advice in how to rise above, screw the negative and say later to the haters.

  1. Disengage. Ok way easier said than done, right? Sure…I 100% get it, I literally have been internet bullied, insulted in real life for disrespectful, rude reasons beyond my control. And do you know what all of those initial years of reacting, feeling flustered and attacking back taught me? That those bullies actually want to evoke that response. It’s what satisfies them. But do you know what is actually the M O S T satisfying thing? Doing absolutely nothing. I mean it makes sense. Think about that ex that you ignore texts from and it makes them absolutely crazy. IT’S THE SAME THING! It’s honestly f*cking incredible. And you feel really freaking powerful even when you might be shaking on the inside. Which brings me into my next point.
  2. Stay Confident…even if you’re faking. Some people are legit relentless. I’ve been in work situations with a nemesis or up against someone openly questioning my credibility as a content creator because I don’t do it full time. There are just people out there who are miserable and negative and they cannot stand positive vibes. It sucks for them but is annoying for you when you become the target of their bullshit. You cannot let people break your spirits even if it feels hard. You have to develop a mantra – mine is literally, “Haters are just more people paying attention to you.” You must take a step back, take three deep breaths and acknowledge that its not you, but them and all you can control is your behavior. Stick to who you are, don’t break your confidence and use the above steps to check in with yourself if you feel you’re slipping.
  3. Embrace it. Kind of like I’m doing right now. Use the hate as content. I am grateful that I can take all of the ridicule and turn it in to advice that you’re genuinely interested and excited to read. How’s that for a slap in the face to them haters? I’m feeling pretty good about having them right now, I was feeling some writer’s block on the horizon and this totally curb it. So THANKS HATERS. Confidence level: HIGH.
  4. Recognize it for what it is. This kind of ties in to my first two points but you have to understand that at the core of an internet troll (especially an egg avatar…excuse me who are you even?!) is someone who likely feels insecure about something within themselves or jealous that you’ve taken chances when they’ve been afraid and it fuels a fire inside of them. They feel justified in their beliefs because it’s easier for them to project than try something new for themselves or admit they might not be living their best life. It’s a bit sad and I wish that I was able to convince these people that they should go for it, whatever it is, but ultimately I wanted to really emphasize and remind you that the negativity is fundamentally theirs and not a reflection of you or your work.
  5. Laugh, laugh, laugh.  Seriously you guys, some of the stuff that’s been said to me is hilarious. From people sending me my own photos and asking me questions but not liking them because, “I already get too many likes,” to everything from emails to comments calling me a loser or ugly…I have seen and heard a lot and at this rate I just have to laugh it off. One of my favorite stories was actually someone who trolled my comments on my friends’ feeds, came back my Instagram page and commented on my photos with their opinion of my comments to my friends (which by the way are usually funny, positive and yes, upbeat). People really have time on their hands lol. My friends and blogging babes get a good laugh out of it because at the end of the day, it can certainly be harmful but I’ve chosen to stay focused on what’s ahead and sometimes a valid laugh is just what you need to put something to bed and continue forward.

So there you have it littles.

There is an obvious vulnerability when you put yourself out there on the internet and you have to take the good with the bad.

In recognizing this fact I’ve tried really hard to to put the above into practice and find it super helpful!

So I hope you do too and if you have any other tips I’d love to hear them.

Or if you just want to shit on this post than feel free to do that as well.

I promise, I can handle it :).

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