Another holiday season has come and gone and with the New Year brings a new bevvy of beauties vying for the affection of America’s Most Eligible Bachelor.
Chris Harrison is waiting in the wings, to warm our hearts with edited delights of love, losses and the promise of the Most Dramatic Season of The Bachelor Ever (seriously has he trademarked this yet?).
While some people are seriously disinterested in watching the new season of The Bachelor, with Colton Underwood, I am 100% still here for it and I’m giving a few reasons why you shouldn’t be so quick to save your final rose for a different show.
Colton is ABC’s Puppet
Seriously. For some BTS context, Colton was on Paradise with Tia and producers (allegedly but ok) pegged him as the potential next Bachelor. Once he caught wind of that, he was so game to dump Tia and then enter Bachelor Nation as their newest star. And he’s been an ABC yes-man ever since. Given that he’s so willing to do what it takes for the spotlight, don’t you dare think that ABC isn’t going to take advantage of the opportunity. I can’t wait to see what they do with a lead who is willing to anythinggg.
These Girls are Sooo Young
These girls are like babies. Low 20s, mid-20s maybe a peppering of a 30s+ contestant. But young girls mean one thing = DRAMA. These girls are totally not here for the right reasons unless the right reasons involve a Revolve contract and Fit Fab Fun ambassadorship. I am sure some of the girls will be willing to go the distance in dramatic developments in order to make their mark on Bachelor Nation. We’re already seeing it before the season has started.
Memes Are Life and We’re Going to Get Goodies
This ones a given. When any new show starts we’re definitely going to get meme-material. And I am the queen of memes so I am here for people’s creativity and dumb genius on the internet.
Colton is (Allegedly) Still a Virgin
The age-old question for this season of The Bachelor is will Colton find someone to give his flower to? Will a woman captivate him so definitively that he will feel confident that he can bed her for the first time? Will we get details of his virginal experience after the show wraps? If he proposes and ultimately marries the girl, will they wait? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
My Love for Rising Country Stars Runs DEEP
There are no better episodes of The Bachelor than the ones where the guy “plans” a one-on-one date and after dinner, they have a lovely surprise performance by some no name artist that they apparently are so obsessed with. Despite being completely fabricated and such a waste of my mental capacity, I adore finding out about new country artists and I genuinely have become fans of new bands because of it.
Bachelorette’s are Made on The Bachelor
This one’s a no brainer – whoever’s star shines brightest with audiences, that actually gets her heart broken, has the best chance of becoming the next Bachelorette. And it’s definitely a better gig than winning the whole thing, so don’t you dare doubt that I’ll have my eyes peeled for those standout Miss Congeniality’s of the season.
Now that I’ve shared my reasons for watching this season, I want to know: Will YOU be watching?!